In several of this author’s previous articles you might have come across the phrase “Savior Syndrome.” This article will expound on what “Savior Syndrome” tends to be and one of the purposes it serves in a person’s life.
When a person begins to focus more on helping someone else than focusing on taking care of themselves, they might be in what is referred to as “Savior” mode. Some of the thinking patterns are as follows:
1. Thinking another human needs your help or they just won’t be able to figure things out on their own
2. Thinking that you can make their life better and they’ll be able to move past what abuses or tough times they’ve had in their lives
3. Thinking that you understand them more than anyone else
Generally, when involvement occurs with narcissistic emotional abusers, victims will slowly gravitate towards thinking in this manner and eventually act out behaviors representative of Savior Syndrome.
Narcissistic emotional abusers most often have been hurt deeply at some time in their lives. Instead of healing appropriately and in a healthy manner, they have learned responses to survive that entail focusing only on what they want or need.
They will go to any means to get it without thinking one iota whether they hurt anyone or everyone in the process.
Using an analogy of a human walking and remaining in a room filled with every virus and bacteria known to mankind and never getting sick or even a sniffle, this would depict a narcissist.
They are immune to others feelings, yet use every opportunity to play on the emotions of those in their path.
If the narcissist wants your sympathy, they’ll get it from you. If the narcissist wants to see you squirm or cry, they have the ability to maneuver and manipulate you to get either response out of you for their utter enjoyment.
In a “YouTube” slide show from “The Emotional Abuse Channel” an interpretation of the creator’s idea from one of the slides is the narcissistic emotional abuser will emotionally drive you to the end of the cliff.
You jump off, but before you hit the ground they catch you and look at you crazy-like and ask, “Why did you jump off?”
You think in your head, “They caught me. They must love me. Maybe I misunderstood what they were saying.”
If you are reading this article and you have not been emotionally abused, what you are reading is going to sound like complete nonsense and craziness.
If you have been or are being emotionally abused, you are resonating and know EXACTLY what it is you are reading.
Savior Syndrome is part of the ‘craziness’ of being involved with a narcissistic emotional abuser and that is the very reason why you must get out and stay away from them.
Narcissistic emotional abusers will play on and work your emotions while you are thinking about how you are loving them and being so good to them and trying all the time to make their life so much better than they ever had it.
All this time your life is going down the tubes neglecting your well-being, putting other loved ones on hold, and your dreams on hold because all your energies are going their direction.
The purpose of all this?
The purpose at the root of Savior Syndrome is that the more you focus on the narcissistic emotional abuser in your life, the more you don’t have to face your own deep pain that happened to you somewhere in your life.
If you valued yourself or if you had high self-esteem, you would never for one moment ever let anyone in your life treat you like this person is treating you.
Because you don’t love yourself, somewhere inside your head you’re thinking this is all you can get and this is what you deserve. Please begin to understand, no one and that means no one needs to be treated like narcissistic emotional abusers treat their victims.
This is not the last person on earth that will ever love you if you can first begin to love yourself.
Savior Syndrome serves the purpose of your not dealing with your own hurts.
You think you are doing something good by helping this poor hurt person which makes you feel good about yourself in some crazy way. It’s a skewed way of thinking.
“If I sacrifice enough, if I martyr myself enough, if I give enough, do enough, it makes me a better person. No one else would put up with, or do for, or stick through stuff with this person, but I do.”
Somewhere deep inside you is a realization that the narcissistic emotional abuser is really troubled and sick. The problem with this is you are getting sick and sicker the longer you stay with this kind of person and you deserve more.
Life is short. When time is gone, it is gone.
When lost happiness is gone, it is gone.
When the flower petals fall off the stem, they are gone.
If you’re going to save anyone, play Savior on you. Give yourself half, no, let’s change that to one-quarter what you do or give to the narcissistic emotional abuser in your life and see what a difference that makes.
Save yourself and allow narcissistic emotional abusers the right and responsibility to save themselves.
Credit needs to be given to “The Emotional Abuse Channel” on “YouTube” for the wonderful work they do educating people about emotional abuse. “The Emotional Abuse Channel” and this author have no personal or business connections. They are freely supported because of their commitment to helping educate hurting people.
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